Because You're Worth It

This indelible Lorea'l slogan is not just good for makeup: it's good for life too. But what is "it"? What exactly are you worth? Well, Lorea'l would want you to believe it's $7 mascara. And if you think about it -- they're right! Who isn't worth that??? The tag line just fits because you know what -- I AM worth it!

That question, though, is a little harder to answer in life. And too often, I don't think we bother to even pose the question, let alone stop to think about the answer. I remember I had to make this determination in college when I was deciding whether or not to study aboard for a second time. I had already been to Italy for a semester and piled on an extra $6,000 or so of student loans when a summer program to Egypt and Greece was offered. I really wanted to go: I had always wanted to go to Greece when I was in Italy but I didn't make it. But going meant another five grand of loans. I really had to think about it. I didn't want the debt to keep piling up, but in the end, I decided that having the opportunity to explore these countries as part of an educational tour was well worth the cost. And more importantly, it was worth the experience. I was, after all, worth it! And I can say without equivocation that my life was enriched for it. It's a chance that I don't think I'll ever have again.

But there are other circumstances where the answer doesn't seem to fit the rational divide so easily -- where there are clear pros and cons. Or are there? I can't help but teleport this "worth it" argument into the sphere of relationships. Why is it, that when it comes to relationships, we're so willing to let our stock value fall? If you think about all of the assets that you bring to the table in a relationship as a portfolio of investments for the other person, isn't there a point at which you won't settle for anything less than the asking price? I mean think about it -- you have your education, your family, your relationship history, your personality, your appearance -- all of these individual "assets" make up the portfolio of who you are. And on some level, they measure your potential to deliver dividends in a relationship with the other person -- emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally. And likewise, their portfolio does the same.

So why, then, do we sell ourselves short? Why do we take a lower offer just to get a buyer? Aren't you worth having someone who's going to be honest with you and not manipulate your emotions? Aren't you worth friendships that aren't toxic and self-serving? Aren't you worth a partner who respects your intelligence and isn't threatened by your self confidence? Aren't you worth it? Aren't you worth a reciprocity of respect?

What if you would start to see yourself as an investment in someone's future -- future spouse, future mother or father of their child, future life partner? What would you be worth? Would you let them get you at a bargain or would you only come at a premium price? What exactly, is your portfolio worth?