Those Cheatin' Hearts

So here we are again. Another day, another politician admitting to an affair. Today, it's Governor Sanford; last week, Senator Ensign; before that, Elliott Spitzer and Vito Fossella; and of course, John Edwards. Ah, John Edwards -- the granddaddy of them all. That is, until today, when Governor Sanford held a press conference admitting his year-long affair with an Argentinian woman after his staff spun an elaborate tale about him hiking in the Appalachian Mountains for the past four days. A "creation of fiction" as he called it. Yep, that's right -- a creation of fiction. Not a lie: a creation of fiction.

At least John Edwards had the decency to still pretend everything was fine in his marriage while he was trying to convince the country to elect him President. (Yes, that is sarcasm you're sensing.) At least he didn't go missing for days on end with his mistress and blame it on a hike. I mean, really, did anyone ever think this story was going to pass muster and that the governor was just going to be able to waltz back into his office after four days as if no one noticed he was gone? He's the governor of a state for crying out loud! Hello!!! People notice when they can't find you for several days in a row!

So, why? Why do they do it? Why do they risk the public ridicule and the professional unraveling, not to mention the personal strife that comes with outed infidelity? Do they really think that in this day and age of 24 hour media, youTube, camera phones, and bloggers that NO ONE is going to find out? What relationship is worth all that? The answer is simple -- there isn't one. But everyone thinks they're not going to be the one who gets caught. How destructive narcissism can be.

And why don't you find women in these same predicaments? Well, yes, of course, there's the obvious double standard. But I think it's more than that. I think women who have worked hard enough to climb to that level of influence know that nothing, especially not some guy on the side, is worth the risk of bringing them down. And if it was, would her husband be standing next to her at the press conference in a show of solidarity and support? Would he be called "vindictive" if he wrote a book about his life that included the period of her infidelity? Or would he be called "smart" for "leveraging the opportunity afforded him by the spotlight of her indiscretion?"

What if the roles were reversed? What if the governor were female? Would she be forced to resign? Or, would we just shake our heads in the disbelief of "there goes another one?"

My husband always says that if God didn't give women emotions, we would rule the world. Because men, according to him, will do anything -- stupid, unbelievable things -- to get in a woman's pants. What if he's right? What if all these high powered men, or even low to no powered men for that matter, didn't have wives to forgive them and take them back? What if, like Governor Sanford's wife said, women stood up for their dignity and the dignity of their children and told their cheating husbands to leave? Could we do it? Can we leave our emotions behind, or is such hope the ultimate creation of fiction?