The Deception of Exception

I know I've been writing a lot about relationships lately but the alleged circumstances surrounding Steve McNair's death are so tragic and downright unbelievable that I just had to write on this topic: the deception of exception. We all know it -- the belief that despite the odds, regardless of the statistics, somehow we'll be the exception. The "it won't happen to me" factor. Why do we allow such deceit to overtake us? Why is it so difficult to face the truth? Is it because to ask the tough questions means we have to be prepared for the equally harsh answers?

I can't help but think alot of this was at play in the McNair situation -- the belief on the part of his girlfriend that despite the fact that he was a married father of four and a man sixteen years her senior with considerable celebrity, he would treat her differently. He wouldn't do to her what he was doing to his wife, the mother of his children. Now, let's be honest. We all know men cheat everyday, even those with kids. And we all know that there is a great deal of deceit and manipulation that the man is responsible for concerning the women involved. But he doesn't deserve to die for it. His kids don't deserve to have their father snatched from them because of it.

Why would any mistress be so delusional as to think a man carrying on an affair with her by lying to and deceiving his own wife would somehow be truthful and forthcoming with her? Why would she ever think that even IF he did leave his wife, that she would never find herself on the side of being cheated on?

And why do men think that there is no price to pay? Even if you are never caught, there is always a price to pay. No, it shouldn't be murder. But the truth of the matter is -- had Steve not been carrying on a relationship (not just an affair or one-night stand), but a relationship with this woman, he would never have found himself on the other side of the barrel of that gun. Why did either of them think they were the exception?

Why is it so hard to accept that statistics tell a story of what is more likely than not to happen to you? Why tempt fate when the odds are so desperately against you? Yes, I know, rules are made to be broken. But I also know that rules exist for a reason, a reason that far too often we ignore in our determination to believe that with us, things will be different.

And even with Michael Jackson, God rest his soul. Being an extra-ordinary musical talent and the greatest entertainer the world has ever known does not mean that prolonged prescription drug abuse will not lead to devastating results. Every cause has an effect and we have to guard ourselves against being deceived into thinking that the same cause won't yield that same effect.