Shallow Hal Syndrome

"In what world do they exist?" Do you find yourself asking this question about someone who no matter what, they just don't seem to get it? And I don't mean that they sort of don't get it. I mean, there is no earthly way that they are existing in the same world as everyone else. And what's worse is that no matter how hard you try to make them see what the rest of world sees, somehow they always seem to find a way to convince themselves that everyone else is crazy and they're right. This is what I call Shallow Hal Syndrome.

You remember the movie Shallow Hal, right? Jack Black's character (Hal) starts off as a realist -- you know, the kind of guy who only wants to date beautiful women. He's shallow (hence the title) and a jerk, but hey, at least he's honest with himself and with the rest of the world about who he is. Then he gets hypnotized, and that results in him only being able to see the inner beauty of a woman. He ends up dating Rosemary, a morbidly obese woman to the rest of the world, but because of Hal's new found state of delusion, I mean hypnosis, his view of her is nothing but roses. Well, actually, his view of her is Gwyneth Paltrow. But you understand my point. And it doesn't matter how much people try to get him to see the truth, in his mind, everything is perfect.

Enter Shallow Hal Syndrome. It's a state of delusion about one's self that's so far removed from the reality of what everyone else sees and thinks that it almost feels other-worldly. Like somehow this person is just trying to punk us and one day Ashton Kutcher is going to come blasting through the parking lot with a camera crew in tow to make us all feel like big idiots for actually thinking this person could possibly be serious. But here's the thing -- they are serious. And at what point do we stop trying to undo the hypnosis that this person is so clearly under? When do we give up on the notion that they'll ever regain a sense of reality (that is if they ever had one to begin with!)?

How do you convince someone that despite their deep and unbelievable denial, they really aren't perfect? In fact, they're not even close to it. Better yet, the gap between their perception of themselves and what everyone else thinks is of grand canyon-like proportions. And I'm talking not one or two people -- I'm talking just about everyone they encounter thinks the exact opposite of the person than what they think of themselves. So how do you do it? How do you convince someone they have Shallow Hal Syndrome?

I know -- what if you could diagnose it? You know, like restless leg syndrome or irritable bowel syndrome. What if you could reduce Shallow Hal Syndrome to a three-letter acronym -- SHS. Then maybe it would seem more treatable. Then maybe we wouldn't find ourselves so frustrated by their utter lack of cluelessness. Because then we could just say -- oh, well, you know she has SHS.